Max "Bunny" Sparber

KK AND I went out last nigh, to a bar and then a movie (Funny Bones). We came back to my place and talked for a while. We lay on my bed and looked at the glow-in-the-dark stars I had affixed to my ceiling. KK seemed about to fall asleep, so I told her she could stay overnight. We held each other for a while, and then she told me that as much as she wanted to kiss me, she wasn't going to. She promised TP that she would not kiss me. Me, specifically.

She was not able to keep her promise. This morning she felt guilty, to the point of tears. We will not be seeing each other much, which makes me unhappy.

ON OF JS'S FRIENDS works in a knick-knack shop and he let us come in and take whatever we want. I'm not horribly fond of knick-knacks, but I got a bunch of gifts for KK's birthday. (It was last Monday, but I hope to see her tomorrow.) They're all silly little doo-dads with nautical-style map images (woodcut suns, moons, flowers, etc.), but I hope these gifts will be appreciated.

I covered two news stories for KFAI today: A ruling in the Quabila Shabazz case and the local Jewish community's commemoration of Yom HaShoahh, the Holocaust Memorial Day. The Shabazz piece I pretty much rewrote from the story on the wire (although I tried to make it a little more sympathetic to Shabazz), and I inserted a quote from an interview with Robin MGee of the Committee Seeking Equal Justice for the Minnesota Eight, which has done support work for Shabazz. Robin is also an assistant professor of law at Hamline.

The Holocaust piece was a little more involved, and I called Rabbi Gutoff at the Hillel House to give it some breadth. Both stories came out nicely, although, as usual, the news reader had trouble with pronunciation and whatnot. I think my skills as a journalist are improving and I hope to start doing features soon.

JS and I went to listen to the Guerrilla Girls speak at a bookstore. These women have been criticizing the established art world for several years in an assortment of anonymous fliers pointing out gender and race inequalities in museums.

After the lecture, I interviewed them for a few minutes, mostly around issues of anonymity and privacy. We intend to print this interview in the Media Active Zine, and we have no doubt readers will understand that this interview relates to the Digger broadsheets, establishing them as part of a long tradition of anonymous political fliers.

NEWSDAY. I covered another demo -- Up and Out of Poverty and the Welfare Rights Committee protested the Contract with America. 150-plus protesters participated, many bused in from homeless shelters and housing projects. At the state capitol, they chanted slogans and listened to speeches, then marched over to the GOP headquarters, where they smashed a pinata made to look like Newt Gingrich and delivered a coffin containing an anti-"Welfare Reform" petition. I got off the bus at 10:30 this morning and filed the story at 6:30 -- eight hours of work went into a three-minute news story.

The announcer fucked it up, forgetting to queue the opening quote. He read the story badly, tripping over sentences and emphasizing the wrong words. Oh well. The advantages of working at KFAI (creating my own beat, covering stories others would refuse, etc.) outweighs the disadvantages of bad volunteer anchorpeople and engineers. I hope soon I can start writing feature stories. The I will read my own stories, perhaps with nice flourishes like ambient music and two-track sound.

KA AND I spent about three hours last night lying on my bed, talking in the dark. Then, when she had to leave, we started kissing. We held each other and kissed for about half an hour and then she excused herself to go home. She was not feeling very well all night -- terrible stomach cramps and a headache -- and was hoping if she went to bed early she would feel better.

My 27th birthday is approaching. I am one of the oldest people in the local anarchist scene, and I am the oldest member of my tiny peer group. I haven't done many of the things adults of my background do at this age. I have yet to graduate college. I have no career. Even though I have been writing since I was young I have yet to publish anything. I make very little money and spend most of my free time volunteering at collectively run community projects that offer no real promise of any sort of advancement. And I am, I must say, very happy with my life. I set out to live an interesting life, and so far I have done that. My fear this past winter that my life was going to become one month repeated endlessly (and not a very good month) has been replaced by my usual sense that adventures are rushing up to meet me. I can't wait.

HAD MY FIRST BYLINE as a reporter for KFAI on Thursday -- went out and covered a CISPES demo. It seems the UN will be pulling out of El Salvador soon, leaving the citizens without a buffer between themselves and death squads. I seem to be the only reporter to cover this. Why? I am interested in seeing what national coverage of this will look like come the April 30 deadline.

NS has come out publicly as the author of the broadsheet that JD attacked me about, for whatever reason. I am waiting for her to call me and apologize, but I don't expect that will be forthcoming.

READING OVER the last few pages, I realize I am obsessing over starting a relationship. I shouldn't be surprised, since it is spring and I have a long history of my fancy turning lightly to thoughts of love at this time. I am afraid that opportunities for romance will open up simultaneously with both KA and KK, and I will be able to pass on neither. KA told me she loves me on the telephone a few days ago, and I called her voicemail and told her I love her too. Last night, I went out with KK and we spent a half an hour talking about sex in her car, with her confessing that the last time she was over, she had wanted to spend the night in my arms. It has been a year and a half since my last relationship, and, but for a few hours I spent making out with a girl I knew from the University, I have had little opportunity and littler desire for intimacy.

LAST NIGHT was the second seder. I had it at my house as the second annual JAM liberation seder. There was a large turnout, maybe 20 or more people, many of whom have never been to JAM previously, and one Palestinian man who who works as a doctor in the occupied territories, dealing mostly with spinal injuries that are mostly caused by the Israeli military. It was a nice evening, although it didn't go very late. JAM is now a year and a half old, and I think is preparing to move from being a small collective to the more organized direction of being a large organization. I hope so -- if we became a membership organization, I think we could easily have 100 or so members within the first week.

My experience with KK was very careful. We talked -- a very interesting conversation -- but did nothing more. She expressed repeatedly her frustration with TP, and we complimented each other, and we talked about some personal experiences, and the entire time I wanted to express that I was developing a crush on her. Didn't happen.

We've made plans to get together on Tuesday, and we had another long and nice discussion last night on the telephone where we set tentative plans for several other occasions in the future.

The house I live in is on the market. It's big and very nice. I am going to sign a six-month lease starting in June with my new roommate, a cyberpunk known as Ugly.

KA AND I haven't seen each other is a while. She's been very busy and she's not very good at calling. I tried to joke about it last time we spoke, but I was tired and I'm afraid I might have sounded pissed.

I'm experiencing a terrible conundrum. The old girlfriend of a friend, TP, who is a pretty brunette named KK, and I have been hanging out (well, once) and I am terrible attracted to her. As I mentioned, I have always suspected she may have a crush on me. I have decided that if the opportunity presents itself, I will become involved with her, and now I am going out of my way to construct these opportunities. She will be coming over tonight and I have spent the day organizing my new room (I have moved to the basement) in order to impress her. But I know TP would read this as betrayal, and would not have anything to do with us again. I am not sure what this says about me -- I value romance over friendship? But TP's absence is a big factor in this, as I do not think he can fairly claim her from out of state (they have broken up anyway). Hm. I'm not very good at moral dilemmas, since I view morality so expansively and fluidly. My impulse. which I am following, is to leap after the possibility of love and deal with the results when they come up. My vaguely open attitude toward relationships does not serve me well at this point either, as I have never had a problem being the man women cheat with.

I also don't have a very good history as a seducer, usually waiting for the woman to make the first, and most obvious, move. I also need very clear indications of permission before instigating any intimacy, as much as I may desire it. I am so private a person, I will not openly violate someone else's privacy (although I am often tempted). I can imagine me and KK being too fearful to participate in anything more romantic that a friendship. We'll see.

I WENT TO KFAI to begin the process of volunteering tonight. It went very well. It was clear that the fastest way onto the air is through the news department -- I'll try that route first. I hope it won't be long before JS and I can begin designing our own show.

The interview with Ramona Africa went very well, and Consuwella Africa participated. Consuwella was present at the 1977 seizure of a MOVE house by the Philadelphia police and served an extended prison sentence. We discussed some very complex issues, like the question of media complicity in creating the conditions that would allow the general public to accept the need for bombing a house and later whitewash the fact that it was murder -- state sponsored murder, carried out against a particularly troublesome radical group.

I was confronted by JD at one of the Ramona Africa speeches. It was unpleasant but unsurprising. I kept my cool, but JS got very angry and they exchanged some sharp words. JD told me, in no uncertain terms, that I shouldn't write about KFK any more. I never have written about him prior to this directive, but now I have. JS and I wrote a Digger Mad Lib about him. It's quite fitting.