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Inspired by the rash of fake memoirs to hit the bestseller list recently, Max "Bunny" Sparber has decided to write his own, detailing his strange life, his addictions, his experiences with celebrities, and many other fascinating experiences that he has never actually had.
INTRODUCTION: Max "Bunny" Sparber gives a brief introduction to the fake memoir, which is one of the most popular of contemporary genres, and explains why he decided to try his hand at writing one. His reason was pure greed, of course.
PART ONE: CHILDHOOD
THE DOLL: Max "Bunny" Sparber's mother doesn't want her son to feel bound by gender stereotypes, so she buys him a doll. As it turns out, that's not all he wants.
ALCOHOL: Max "Bunny" Sparber remembers, and misses, his childhood addiction to alcohol.
TWEE: Max "Bunny" Sparber was a special child: He was twee.
ELIJAH: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber recounts a strange story from his youth, the tale of how the Sparbers brought the prophet Elijah to America.
MIRACLE STORIES: Max "Bunny" Sparber remembers stories that may or may not be true about his ancestor, a famous rabbi.
MOTHER: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of being the child of an Oscar-winning movie star, and his disappointment that she did not beat him more thoroughly.
PART TWO: CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
TORTURE: Who says torture doesn't work? In Max "Bunny" Sparber's experience, it will fix almost anything.
I, PIMP: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber recounts his accidental employment as a pimp.
VIRGINIA RULES: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber explains the indigenous fighting arts of Minneapolis.
STABRINA: The police suspect Max "Bunny" Sparber of being a murderous drag queen vigilante named Stabrina. But is it true?
ALONE: Max "Bunny" Sparber is still around -- where did everybody else on earth go?
THE HAT: Max "Bunny" Sparber buys a leather biker's hat, not realizing that, if you wear a hat long enough, it defines you.
PART THREE: ADDICTION
DEATH PEPPER: Max "Bunny" Sparber describes the hottest thing he ever ate.
MOBILE HOME GIRLS: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his addiction to women from trailer parks, and how this had led him to be a bigamist.
TWO YEARS: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber explains why he spent two years on a toilet.
BLACKOUTS: Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his alcohol-related memory problems -- he remembers his blackouts and forgets everything else.
THE BUTTER SCULPTURE OF MY HEAD: 10 conversation between Max "Bunny" Sparber and the butter sculpture of his head he keeps in his freezer.
THE BABY: Max "Bunny" Sparber finds a baby on his doorstep.
APOCALYPSE HIGH: Max "Bunny" Sparber tells a group of drug addicts about the ultimate rush.
PART FOUR: SELF HELP
THE ABDUCTION: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his kidnapping at the hands of strange creatures, and why he hates his alien abductee support group.
JEWS: Max "Bunny" Sparber's life has gotten a whole lot more complicated since everybody converted to Judaism.
SURVIVAL: After a plane crash in the Andes, Max "Bunny" Sparber does what he must to survive.
THE HUT: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber details the experiences of being a man who menstruates.
FATHER: Max "Bunny" Sparber tracks down his biological parents, and couldn't regret it more.
WHAT A MAN DOES: Max "Bunny" Sparber has ended more than a few lives, but they were all men that needed killing, and he doesn't like to brag about it.
COOKIE JEWS: Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of the Soviet Jews, and one particular girl, he rescued from inside a cookie.
BE LIKE ME: Max "Bunny" Sparber speaks to a high school about drunk driving, the accident that cost him the use of his limbs, his continued career as a martial artists, and why the assembled teens should aspire to be just like him.
CAVEMAN: Max "Bunny" Sparber's DNA test comes back with an unexpected result.
THE WORKMEN: Max "Bunny" Sparber's television viewing is interrupted by a group of workmen who want to take apart his apartment.
PART FIVE: HOLLYWOOD
STRIPPING: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his experiences as an exotic dancer, and why he will not be pursuing a book or movie deal like all the other strippers he works with.
MY HAIR: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells the strange tale of his incredible adventures on Mars and Atlantis, and how they affected his magnificent head of hair.
LOS ANGELES: They say LA will eat you alive; Max "Bunny" Sparber discovers this is literally true.
THE HAND: A tragic accident for Max "Bunny" Sparber, and a depressing discovery.
THE GOLEM: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his unlikely career as a television producer, and how he came up with the idea for his popular show, My Neighbor, The Golem.
KUBRICK: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber recounts an airplane encounter with filmmaker Stanley Kubrick.
THE DEVIL: Max "Bunny" Sparber goes to the crossroads to make a deal with the devil.
BIGFOOT: Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his encounter with the Bigfoot of the Hollywood Hills.
GAY MARRIAGE: Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his experiences as a straight man who has married another straight man.
THE EXTRA: Max "Bunny" Sparber has been showing up in the background of a lot of movies, despite the fact that he wasn't there when they filmed.
PART SIX: DEATH
THE STORM: A gust of wind blows Max "Bunny" Sparber into the air, but he's not alone up there.
PSYCHIC: Max "Bunny" Sparber tells about the tragedy of being omniscient without being omnipotent.
THE HALLWAY: A long walk down a hallway, a cat jumping out, and a killer at the end. Max "Bunny" Sparber has seen this in a million horror movies; now he has to live it.
THE HUNT: Aliens invade the earth, hunting and eating all life forms, and Max "Bunny" Sparber helps them in any way he can.
THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: Max "Bunny" Sparber and a surprising of survivors bunker down in the basement of the Guthrie Theater and battle hordes of the undead.
GHOSTS: Max "Bunny" Sparber discovers there is life after death, and party hats.
BONUS STORIES:
LULZ: Max "Bunny" Sparber finds himself atop the Hoover dam, detonator in hand, facing down a secret agent who has taunted him via online chat groups.
THE SIN MERCHANT: Max "Bunny" Sparber recounts why it is a mistake to take responsibility for some else's sin.
MY SENSEI: There are many stories told about Max "Bunny" Sparber's sensei; all of them are true.
THE WRESTLER: A Sparber family story about Max "Bunny" Sparber's uncle, the famous wrestler Al Sparber, and his battle with a troll.
CONVERSATIONS WITH LOVERS: Max "Bunny" Sparber shares too much from nighttime conversations with lovers.
ALBINO: Max "bunny" Sparber finds himself suffering the ire of a gossip blogger for seeming to deny his albino heritage.
RED CARPET: Max "Bunny" Sparber recounts his mortification at a photo taken of him in a too-short skirt on the red carpet.
THE RETURN: Max "Bunny" Sparber drives his classic automobile around Los Angeles, and toward a strange destiny.
PLAYING POLITICS: Max "Bunny" Sparber holds a strange rally for a fringe political group.
DRUNKS: Max "Bunny" Sparber recounts a time in his life when he made money by rolling drunks.
STORIES: Max "Bunny" Sparber wants to retire from writing horror stories, but his characters just won't leave him alone.
AWARD: As flattered as Max "Bunny" Sparber is to win Best Performer in a Group Sex Scene, he has a few things to say about what really matters.
