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I'm Just a Bad Boy: A Fake Memoir

Max "Bunny" Sparber tells the story of his life, and every word of it is a lie.
Bunny Reading

The Jet Pack Tour

Max "Bunny" Sparber uses a small, portable jet pack to visit many of the great landmarks in the world.
Jet Pack

The World of Sailor Martin

Songs, short stories, and miscellany from a bawdy tattooed Sailor Puppet.
Sailor Martin

The Films of William Shatner

Reviews of the strange and obscure films William Shatner made in the 60s and 70s.
Sailor Martin

The Plays of Max Sparber

Original playscripts by Max "Bunny" Sparber, available for download.
Sailor Martin

Plastic Paddy


Max "Bunny" Sparber establishes, at age 41, that he is an Irish-American, and sets out to explore what this means.

Bits and Pieces


Bunny Sparber spends a year at the Walker Art Center, Minneapolis's contemporary art museum; an experiment in new forms of arts criticism.

Tulip


Max "Bunny" Sparber documents the process of writing a one-man show about performer Tiny Tim, including posting his rough scratch demo recordings of original songs, his early drafts of the script, and his research for the project.

The World of Sailor Martin


A free full-length album of original music by America's favorite drunken sailor puppet, available for download here. Songs include "Pour Me Another Box of Wine," "One Million Frogtown Whores," and "Why Are Women So Afraid of Seamen?"

THE PLAY'S OF MAX SPARBER: MINSTREL SHOW REVIEWED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

9:36 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses
Naomi Siegel of The New York Times reviewed Minstrel Show on 10.14.07:

The image is seared in the memory: A man hangs from a tree, a noose around his neck, his body mutilated. In the foreground, onlookers, some with children in tow, mill around in grim satisfaction.

Audiences at “Minstrel Show, or the Lynching of William Brown,” Max Sparber’s disturbing 1998 theater piece now on stage at the New Jersey Repertory Company in Long Branch, do not actually see this scene. They are forced to conjure it while hearing the shockingly graphic reminiscences of a black minstrel performer who watched it happen in 1919. He and his vaudeville partner were prisoners in the Douglas County Courthouse in Omaha as William Brown was dragged out of the burning building to his death.

Mr. Sparber has taken a shameful, little-noted event in American history and fashioned a raw, gripping work. He has woven two strands of storytelling artfully and seamlessly into a striking tapestry. The first is that of the minstrels, fictional characters struggling to find a niche as performers in a world defined by racism. Performing “Tableaux of Negro Life” in blackface before a black audience, they shuffle and shimmy through their version of the “yahoo song,” learned while both men were imprisoned at the Parchman Farm penitentiary simply for being black. The ditty secretly disparages white folks.

The second strand in the drama is taken from an actual event: the killing of William Brown, an innocent man accused of raping a 19-year-old white woman named Agnes Loebeck. In a savage riot, a mob of as many as 5,000 grabbed the terrified prisoner from the courthouse and then shot, castrated, lynched and burned him before dragging his body through the streets. One rioter and a bystander, both white, were also killed, and the mayor of Omaha was strung up and nearly murdered after he attempted to maintain law and order.

Spencer Scott Barros and Kelcey Watson offer wrenching portraits as the performers, who describe themselves as “witnesses to history,” their mission “to tell it, to teach it.” Comrades in high jinks as well as misery, they play off each other’s characters with near-perfect teamwork. The final scene, directed with no holds barred by Rob Urbinati, is almost unbearable to watch in its explicit description of the horror.

Quinn K. Stone, the set designer, has effectively replicated the burned-out room in the courthouse where the men viewed the lynching. Jill Nagle’s lighting, suggesting the rising flames of the fire, turns up the heat when needed.

“Minstrel Show” is not, to be sure, a comfortable evening’s entertainment. Recent protests about the theater’s use of blackface images in its advertising attest to the work’s power to provoke controversy. But it is a play that bears unrelenting witness, a crucial part of the search for truth.

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THE PLAYS OF MAX SPARBER: MINSTREL SHOW REVIEWED IN VARIETY

9:33 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses
Written by Robert L. Daniels of Variety on 10.02.07:

Unsettling and compelling, Max Sparber's "Minstrel Show or the Lynching of William Brown" re-creates a harrowing true story about the 1919 lynching of a jailed black man, as seen through the eyes of a couple of fictional song-and-dance men. The season opener for New Jersey Repertory Company begins on a light note with a couple of knockabout minstrel comics singing "yahoo" songs from the cotton fields, then quickly turns into a graphic narrative of angry crowd hysteria.

In Omaha, Neb., amid the broken glass and debris of a ravaged county courthouse, two traveling African-American entertainers recount the mob violence they witnessed that ultimately took the lives of a half-dozen innocent spectators. Target of the collective fury was William Brown, who was accused of molesting a 19-year-old white girl.

The two-hander begins with Sho-Nuff (Kelcey Watson) and Yas-Yas (Spencer Scott Barros) illustrating the origins of the minstrel show, when white entertainers blackened their faces with burnt cork. Subsequently, even black artists had to coat themselves with shoe polish.

Through their narrative, the minstrel entertainers, who traveled the country singing and dancing in "coon shows" or "Tableaux of Negro Life," tell of their arrest for disturbing the peace and disorderly conduct, after a dozen hooded men beat several black members in their audience.

They witnessed the violence from their jail cell. Sho-Nuff graphically describes the mob mentality of the 5,000 rioters who stormed the Douglas County Courthouse, broke the windows and battered down the oak door to gain access to the unfortunate 40-year-old prisoner Brown, who was awaiting trial.

The "end men" are skillfully realized by Watson and Barros. One can very nearly see the mindless violence as described in Barros' chilling panoramic description of the lynching and murder. The narrative is given a sense of cinematic urgency in Rob Urbinati's taut, rhythmic staging of playwright Sparber's engrossing historical document, which resonates with unflinching horror.

The play continues to draw controversy as black members of the Long Branch community raised objections to the original poster and newspaper ad that showed cartoonish figures of minstrel performers standing near a hangman's noose. The vintage image of the entertainers was subsequently pulled from the ads.

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THE PLAYS OF MAX SPARBER: MINSTREL SHOW REVIEW IN NEWARK STAR-LEDGER

9:31 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses
Peter Filichia of Newark's Star-Ledger has written a lovely review for the NJ Rep production of Minstrel Show:

Though the second part of the title tells us that Sparber has already divulged his ending, the play offers riveting and harrowing surprises. Better still, director Rob Urbinati's strong production creates a mood that makes an audience pay rapt attention....

Sparber's play now concentrates on the lesson that hatred begets more hatred, and what began that night in Omaha was destined to be an unwieldy and unrelenting tragedy. Just when a theatergoer assumes that he's heard the worst part of the story, Sparber manages to find more atrocities.

They may have all been right there in Omaha city records, but Sparber, Urbinati, Barros and Watson have forged them into one compelling theater piece.

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THE PLAYS OF MAX SPARBER: MAD ABOUT THE BOY REVIEWED IN THE OMAHA CITY WEEKLY

9:27 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses
Julien R. Fielding, writing for The Omaha City Weekly, has written a nice review of Mad About the Boy!:

The latest Blue Barn offering, “Mad About the Boy!,” comes from the pen of Max Sparber, and for this delightful outing, he’s drawn inspiration from “a series of gay-themed novelty albums put out by Camp records in the 1960s and sold through ads in the back of beefcake magazines of the time.”

The setting is 1964 in a small Pacific Coast town. G. Dansforth Pettibottom (Brandom Higdem), a salesman for more than a decade, harbors a secret. He’s smitten with Stanley (Joe Koll), the office boy, but in this conservative environment, he can’t reveal his true feelings. But he’s experiencing more than problems with his love life. His sales of Brownie cameras are down, something his boss, Mr. Pantakerous (Nils Haaland) can’t abide. He’s also increasingly becoming the object of affection of Darla (Jill Anderson), his office mate who went crazy after her homosexual husband came out of the closet and killed himself.

In typical 1960s fashion, characters reveal themselves through lip-synched song, including “Manly Transvestite,” “Old Fashioned Balls,” “I’d Rather Fight Than Swish,” “I’m So Wet,” and “Mad About the Boy.”

There’s plenty to love about “Mad About the Boy!” For one thing, Anderson, who left Omaha for bigger and better theatrical opportunities, is back and, as always, is riveting. As Darla, she’s an insecure, bespectacled lonely hearts with a little girl voice to match. Contrast Darla with Anderson’s brazen Swinger Wife, the long cigarette holder chomping sexual explorer who has a hankering for her Latino houseboy, and you can see why this actress is one of our greats. The minute she steps onto the stage, your eyes are drawn to her. And when she’s absent from the boards, you can feel it. (Luckily, she has several cameos, including a French soap enthusiast and a Army T-shirt wearing grease monkey.)

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THE PLAYS OF MAX SPARBER: MAD ABOUT THE BOY REVIEWED IN THE READER

9:25 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses
Warren Francke has written a review of Mad About the Boy for the Omaha Reader:

It figures that every culture has its own naughty songs. Oscar Brand’s bawdy albums of the 1960s ranged from 19th-century classics to then-current party songs.

Most of us weren’t aware that gay-themed “dirty” songs were advertised in muscle magazines about the same time. Now we know because a Blue Barn Theatre cast lip-synches them in its world premiere of Max Sparber’s Mad About the Boy!

Lets not pretend they’re all too wild to be mentioned in print. “Stanley the Manly Transvestite” permits Joe Koll to flex biceps while wearing a dress befitting a 1920s flapper. Nils Haaland in various gowns tends bar to the tune of “There is a tavern in the town, where the waiters wear a gown.”

Oscar Brand once sang of “Parties and banquets, and banquets and parties, and balls, balls, balls.” Haaland’s Blue Barn version skips the parties and banquets.

It’s less shocking and, heaven forbid, erotic than it is funny, thanks in large part to the choreography and costumes designed by Jill Anderson and staging by director Hughston Walkinshaw under the pseudonym Zak Humbee.

Billed as a beefcake romp, the Sparber script gives a trio led by Shane Staiger ample opportunities to run around in skimpy outfits, from plain white briefs to leather strapping.

(Perhaps this is erotic, depending on preferences, but it features only one brief flashing of male buns and isn’t likely to invite a police raid.)

But it also gives the talented Brandon Higdem free reign for a likable Casper Milquetoast creation called Mr. Pettibottom, a shy camera salesman in derby hat, thin bow tie and glasses. His conservative suit and uptight style makes him a misfit in Lulu’s, the only gay bar in town.

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THE PLAYS OF MAX SPARBER: MAD ABOUT THE BOY REVIEW

9:21 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses
Bob Fischbach of the Omaha World-Herald wrote a lovely review of Mad About the Boy for the 11.25.06 issue:

There's campy, and then there's campy trampy.

And then there's the Blue Barn's "Mad About the Boy," in which grown men romp in their BVDs, singing double entendre lyrics that can't be printed in a family newspaper - a hilarious and biting sendup of the time before the gay rights movement.

Playwright Max Sparber has strung a clothesline plot on which to hang Camp Records' gay-themed songs, sold by mailer ad in 1960s muscle-man magazines that passed for gay porn then. Director Hughston Walkinshaw's cast lip-syncs the recordings, which makes this 75-minute show even funnier.

So there's Nils Haaland, a co-founder of the Blue Barn Theatre and one of the city's finest actors, decked out in a green satin Christmas tree gown and gold lamé opera gloves, bursting into song as a cross-dressing bartender.

In scenes before and after, he's barely recognizable as the blowhard Mr. Pantankerous, a portly old lech who runs a camera-sales business like he was pimping for Polaroid; or he's a shirtless leather biker daddy.

And there's Jill Anderson, making people double over with laughter at the banal dialogue of a bored suburban-swinger housewife. The line may not be intentionally funny, but her take on it sure is.

Two scenes later she's Darla, a demure office worker at the camera store. Darla temporarily lost her mind after her gay husband committed suicide rather than face being outed after that unfortunate arrest. But she has a new friend in door-to-door camera salesman Pettibottom.

That's Brandon Higdem as the uptight, closeted salesman in the bow tie and derby, trying to subtly flirt with the cute office boy, but it's risky - this is 1964, after all. That doesn't stop Pettibottom from wishing and hoping, romping from the Y to his pink bedroom to the office Christmas party. Higdem's physicalization of the character, and his facial expressions, are priceless.

Joining Haaland, Anderson and Higdem as a beefcake chorus are Shane Staiger, Kevin Vandreil and Keith Buswell, with Joe Koll as the office boy. They make the most of Anderson's let's-get-physical choreography.

It would be easy to write this off as coarse, way-over-the-top silliness if gay bashings and suicides and firings and closeted husbands weren't still part of the American scene. Even as Walkinshaw and company roast the past, others have mentally never left it.

For gays who have more than the boy to be mad about, the fairy jokes and the dual identities and the boss's double standards are not unrelated to the black comedy in Sparber's racially charged drama, "Minstrel Show."

What's obscene, and what's funny, depend entirely on your point of view.

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THE PLAYS OF MAX SPARBER: MAX SPARBER RESUME

9:17 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses
Max Sparber
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PRODUCTIONS
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Ivan the Drunk and His Terrible Tale of Woe, Off-Leash Area, Minneapolis, MN June 2008
Minstrel Show, Oklahoma City University, Oklahoma City, OK, February 2009
The Jury, Off-Leash Area, Minneapolis, MN, Oct 2008
A Gift for Planet BX63, Off-Leash Area, Minneapolis, MN, Oct 2007
Minstrel Show, New Jersey Repertory Company, Long Branch, NJ, Sept 2007
Mad About the Boy!, Blue Barn Theatre, Omaha, Neb., Nov 2006
The Older Gentleman, Vital Theatre Company, New York, NY., May 2006
Minstrel Show, Blue Barn Theatre & John Beasley Theatre, Omaha, Neb., Feb 2006
Walking Behind to Freedom, OTOC, Omaha, Neb., May 2004, remounted Dec. 2004
Cruelties and chelsea (from a to b and back again), Blue Barn Theatre, Omaha, Neb., Sept 2003
Minstrel Show, Manbites Dog Theatre Company, Durham, NC., Aug 2003
Ladies of Song, Tally Ho Theatre, Washington, D.C., Mar 2003
Holiday Jamboree, Blue Barn Theatre, Omaha, NE, Dec 2002
Minstrel Show, Manbites Dog Theatre Company, Durham, NC., Nov 2002
Ladies of Song, New York State Theatre Institute, Troy, NY., Feb 2002
Minstrel Show, Warhol Museum, Pittsburgh, Penn., Sept 2001
Cruelties, Dramatists Guild, New York, NY., July 2001
The Girl Who Would Not Sing, The Lightning Festival, Blue Barn Theatre, Omaha, Neb., May 2001
The Girl Who Would Not Sing, The Chicago Avenue Project, Pillsbury House Theatre, Minneapolis, Minn., Dec 2000
Minstrel Show, TheatreWorks, Colorado Springs, Col., Oct 2000
Minstrel Show, Jewish Community Center of Long Beach, Long Beach, Cal., Mar 2000
Minstrel Show, Chain Lightening Theater Co., New York, NY, Oct 1999
Minstrel Show, Queens Theatre in the Park, Queens, NY, Mar 1999
boyELROY, Blue Barn Theatre, Omaha, Neb., Oct 1999
Minstrel Show, Blue Barn Theatre, Omaha, Neb., Mar 1998
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STAGED READINGS
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The Older Gentleman, Great Plains Theatre Conference, Omaha, Nebraska, June 2009
Minstrel Show, Karuma House, Cleveland, Ohio, May 2009
boyELROY, Manbites Dog Theatre Company, Durham, NC., June 2007
chelsea (from a to b and back again), Playwrights Center, Minneapolis, MN, Nov 2006
Buddy Bentley, Great Plains Theatre Festival, Omaha, Nebraska, May 2006
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COMMISSIONS
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Off-Leash Area, Minneapolis, MN, 2008 for Ivan the Drunk and His Terrible Tale of Woe
Off-Leash Area, Minneapolis, MN, 2008, for The Jury
Off-Leash Area, Minneapolis, MN, 2007, for A Gift for Planet BX63
Doane College, Crete, Neb., 2004, for The Older Gentleman
OTOC, Omaha, Neb., 2004, for Walking Behind to Freedom
New York State Theatre Institute, New York, 2000, for Ladies of Song
Omaha Theater for Young People, Omaha, 1998, for Ira Aldrich
Society for the Creation of Art and Music, Los Angeles, 1994, for Santa Muerte and The Substitute Bride
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EDUCATION
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Participant and panelist in Great Plains Theatre Conference, May and June, 2006.
Advanced seminar in puppetry with Michael Sommers of the Open Eye Puppet Theatre, 2002
Advanced seminar in Commedia Dell'Arte-style physical acting with the San Francisco Mime Troupe, 2002
Advanced seminar in puppetry with the Handspring Puppet troupe, 2002
University of Minnesota, theater arts undergraduate program, degree pending, 2001-03
Brave New Institute, completed year-long program in improvisational comedy, 2000-01
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ADDITIONAL EXPERIENCE
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Ventriloquist for Bust-Out Burlesque in New Orleans' French Quarter
Frequent stage actor with Blue Barn Theatre, including roles in Arcadia, Vieux CarrÈ, and Toxic Avenger: The Musical!
Performed toy theater one-acts at Balls Cabaret
Theater critic for City Pages, 2000-2003
Editor-in-chief and theater critic for The Reader newsweekly in Omaha, Neb., 1997-2000
Produced 1999 season of Blue Barn Theatre's "Theatre 'Round Midnight" series, including directing Jacob Holder's Someone to Love
Playwright and actor for Society for the Creation of Art and Music, a theater program for homeless teenagers begun in Hollywood by actress Shelley Winters.
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More plays of Max Sparber.

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MY PORN YEAR

4:53 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses


AN EXPERIMENT IN SATIRE, in which Max "Bunny" Sparber creates a new adult script every single week for a year, based on the most popular film of the previous weekend.

INTRODUCTION ONE: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber explains the project.

INTRODUCTION TWO: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of his past experience with the adult film industry.

INTRODUCTION THREE: In which Max "Bunny" Sparber tells of past failures in writing for adult film industry, and describes three unfilmable scripts.

THE SCRIPTS:

IRON DONG (05.06.08): A satire of Iron Man, in which a millionaire erotica manufacturer builds himself a super sex suit in order to prevent his sex toys from falling into the hands of the unsexy.

INDIANA MOANS AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL WHANG (05.30.08): A satire of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in which an adventurer must protect an ancient crystal phallus from the plans of an evil female Russian agent.

SEX AND THE TITTY (06.04.08): A satire of Sex and the City in the form of an adult script. The script tells the story of Carrie Gladjaw, a sex columnist in a big city, writes about the various relationship problems of her three best friends, and her on-again-off-again relationship with her boyfriend, Mr. Massive.

THERE WILL BE PUD (06.10.08): The first special Academy Award edition of My Porn Year. A satire of the Academy Award-winning 2007 film There will be Blood in the form of an adult screenplay. The story tells of Daniel Pornview and his son BJ, a father and son adult filmmaking company who purchase a farm from a faith healer named Billy Somelay.

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OLD SONGS

2:46 PM Reporter: Max Sparber 0 Responses


An experiment in biography, using two decades worth of unrecorded songs to look back on two decades worth of experiences.

Songs composed by Max "Bunny" Sparber between 1986 and 2005, and the stories behind them. These songs are newly recorded by singing into a digital camera on video mode, pushing the resulting audio through GarageBand, and then behaving as though the resulting lo-fi MP3, upon which the sounds of birds, traffic, and chairs moving can be heard, is an aesthetic decision.

BUT WHEN CINDY DANCES (1986): The first song Max "Bunny" Sparber wrote. A pop song about a real Cindy and a possibly invented dance.

PHOTOGRAPHING THE DECEASED CHILD (1987): An a cappella hymn telling of a photographer, a child, and a funeral.

MEAN OLD MAN (1987): A song in the style of prison chants or field hollers telling of corruption and hypocrisy.

SONG OF THE CANE TOAD (1988): A strange country song telling the true story of the introduction of the Cane Toad to Australia, and the disaster that followed.

GOD DAMN YOU TOM BROWN (1989): A haunted song about a very mean man.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU WHEN I'M GONE (1990): A minor key song about marriage and betrayal.

THE BALLAD OF EMMA GOLDMAN (1993): An a cappella melody, sung slightly out of tune and based on a poem written in in 1901 newspaper, telling the tale of the assassination of President William McKinley.

RUTH (1994): A deliberately "Oriental" song in Hebrew, taken from the text of Ruth 1:16.

THIS DREAM OF LOVE (1996): Like all love songs, this is the tale of plummeting down from the clouds, through the earth's mantle, and right into hell.

THE BAND WILL PLAY A MELODY (1996): A melancholy arpeggio about the risks of wanderlust.

SERENADE THE MOON (1996): A Tin Pan Alley-style tale of a drunk and his girl.

TUT TUT NO NO (1996): A 1920s love song as transmitted from Venus.

BEGGAR'S SONG (1997): A minor-key manifesto from a bum.

I WANT TO SPEND THE DO RE MI (1997): chipper song telling of Max "Bunny" Sparber's cavalier attitude toward money at the time of the song's writing.

TIP YOUR HAT (1997): A Day of the Dead song about skeletons and the skeletal things they do.

WHEN YOU'RE MY MRS (1997): A ragtimey ditty about a nervous bridegroom.

I'M THE SAME MAN (1998): An unforgivably bitter song about the end of a relationship.

A CHRISTMASTIME TOAST (1999): An unnecessarily melancholy Christmas song.

LET THE BAND PLAY ON (1999): A moody tune about the terminus of a relationship.

WASN'T WE A PAIR (1999): A tale of loss and regret told in the manner of a Mexican ragtime cowboy song.

STRUGGLING TO CATCH MY BREATH (1999?): The lonely thoughts of a divorced salesman in an anonymous motel. Actual writing date unknown.

JIMMY THE SHREW (2000): A song about a villain.

ONE KISS FROM YOU (2001): A maudlin love song from an old man to a young woman.

GREAT LONG STRUMMING THING (2001): A naughty ukulele ditty.

WOE IS ME (2001): Unrequited love and naughty lyrics.

BACK TO THE RIO GRAND (2003): A cowboy song about a lawman and the murderer who plans to kill him.

ALFRED PACKER, A MAN WHO LIKED TO EAT (2004): An uptempo country ditty about a Colorado cannibal, and, later, Max "Bunny" Sparber's neighbor.

FOUR DETESTABLE CHILDREN (2004): A circuslike melody telling of little criminals.

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