INTRODUCTION: An introduction to Sailor Martin, an unspeakably vile pierced and tattooed ventriloquist dummy who has starred in a series of remixes of old public domain films and songs.
THIS IS SAILOR MARTIN
Launching laugh-laden rockets filled with laughing gas, Sailor Martin presents his first complete album of original songs! 15 melodies to delight the ear and shock the squares, comprising 30 minutes of mirthful melodies -- all for free download!
Click here to learn more about or download individual songs.
This Is Sailor Martin includes:
1. The Power of Alcohol
2. I Married Her For Her Money (She Married Me For My Lies)
3. I'm Hard On Her But She's Down On Me
4. I'm Not As Drunk As You Am I Think
5. It's Hard For Me To Enjoy It When You Sit On It
6. If This Bed Could Talk
7. Horrible Things What Live in the Sea
8. Why Are Women So Afraid of Seamen?
9. If You Don't Want a Razor Fight
10. You're So Boring Here
11. One Million Frogtown Whores
12. The Twitch
13. You Homo-Loving Commie Sons of Guns
14. Cell Block Number Four
15. Pour Me Another Box of Wine
Download the entire album as a zipped 64 MB file.
THE FILMS OF SAILOR MARTIN
AS BOYS GROW WITH SAILOR MARTIN: Sailor Martin teaches a sex education class. Badly.
BEAST OF THE TOKYO BATHHOUSE, PART 1: Sailor Martin is seduced by a strange woman and injected by a strange doctor in the first part of an incomplete full-length film project.
THE BIG ONE WITH SAILOR MARTIN: It's the end of the world as we know it and Sailor Martin feels amorous.
CHRISTMAS CHEER: Sailor Martin sings of drunken debauchery on Christmas eve, and his song is illustrated by snippets from strange old cartoons.
DON'T SPREAD GERMS: Sailor Martin learns how to properly use a handkerchief.
THE FLYING SAUCER WITH SAILOR MARTIN: The trailer for an old science fiction film starring a pierced and tattooed puppet.
LET'S GET DRUNK WITH SAILOR MARTIN: Sailor Martin teaches basic mixology, and later goes for a drive.
LIQUOR BY THE DRINK: A PSA from 1978 in which Sailor Martin attempts to encourage voters to drink and drive.
PEEPING TOM'S PARADISE: Sailor Martin looks through a keyhole, and likes what he sees!
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM SAILOR MARTIN: VD is for everybody.
SAILOR MARTIN IN POLICE TROUBLE: Sailor Martin finds himself on the wrong side of the New Orleans police department after a shoplifting spree.
SAILOR MARTIN IN SOMEBODY'S CRAZY: Sailor Martin finds himself institutionalized, and discovers there is a lot to like in the insane asylum.
A TYPICAL NIGHT WITH SAILOR MARTIN: Sailor Martin entertains guests.
WHAT MAKES A GOOD PARTY WITH SAILOR MARTIN: Sailor Martin is invited to, and ruins, a teen party.
IRISH SONGS
WHO'S GOT THE NERVE: Sailor Martin wants to have a proper St. Patrick's Day Parade.
THE WORLD OF SAILOR MARTIN
(A GLASS OF) CHRISTMAS CHEER: Sailor Martin sings his version of a Christmas song, which involves drunken debauchery.
ARAM'S CONCUBINES: Sailor Martin battled a lusty sheik in a foreign harem.
BUY ME SOME GIN: The lost Sailor Martin song -- a bawdy tale of alcohol and women discovered on a very old video recording from New Orleans.
THE EDINA SCREAMER: Sailor Martin introduces a new cocktail, based around the sexual behavior of middle aged women in a Minneapolis suburb.
JOLIE MARIE'S STOCKINGS: Sailor Martin sings of a French girl and a gift she gives him to remember her at sea.
LITTLE EGYPT: Sailor Martin sings of an exotic dancer from the Middle East.
SAILOR MARTIN'S SHIPWRECKED SONG: Sailor Martin washes up a beach where tiny and possibly edible people come to his rescue.
A SAILOR MARTIN SONG FOR CHILDREN: Sailor Martin attempts, and fails at, recording a song for children about pretty birds and fuzzy rabbits.
THE SONG OF SAILOR MARTIN: Sailor Martin's theme song, telling of a island hut, a bottle of rum, and some naughty stories.
A ST. PAUL CHRISTMAS: A melancholy Christmas song from a lonely sailor far from the sea but close to the saloon.
BAR JOKES
BAR JOKES WHAT I LIKE #1: A tale of high seas cannibalism.
BAR JOKES WHAT I LIKE #2: A tale of high seas piracy.
BAR JOKES WHAT I LIKE #3: A tale of whales and their drinking habits.
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